RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM NYSC CAMP DAY 1

Hey readers today I’m going to be writing on the memoirs i kept from nysc camp about a year ago. This memoir would be written in bits trust you are going to love reading it. This is my story.

Like every other person in Nigeria i had tried to do something about my NYSC posting so i was a little hopeful i was going to get posted to the town of my choice. But that's not what happened. When i got my call up letter i was disappointed like anyone would be. Was damn pissed and frustrated i couldn't pronounce the name of the town i was headed to. I decided i was going to whatever it took to redeploy from there already. So i set out to a town in Akwa Ibom State called Nsit Atai (I’m sure most of you wouldn't be able to pronounce that word).

I got to ABC park at Awka that dreadful morning and had to wait hours for the bus to get there .I had asked the manager at the company to book a sit for the Akwa Ibom bus leaving from owerri. Anyways when i got to owerri i found out the manager at awka hadn't made the reservations so i was stuck. That was when i really started loathing the whole Akwa Ibom experience. Well i finally got a bus that i didn't like it was smoking badly and as far as i'm concerned it was moving at almost a snail speed. Well we kept going until the driver of the bus i was in disrespected a military officer and he was asked to get out of the vehicle and roll in the gutter nearby. ohhhh and did i forget to mention it was raining badly. Then we waited for him to clean up and continued the journey.

Finally we got to the Akwa Ibom park and there were a lot of corpers hovering around looking for who to devour if you ask me (cos that's my opinion).Of course you had to agree to be a member of their church to get a read to the camp. So i looked around and when i didn't find an option i found a taxi to take me to the camp. It was expensive and getting to the camp seemed like i was heading to the end of the world and the damn rains weren't making things easy at all. Finally i saw a signpost that read NYSC ORIENTATION CAMP then i said to myself finally i'm here or so i thought. Well drove for about another 10mins before i could see any humans or houses so it occurred to me that i was really going to hell (that's what i call it).

When the taxi finally got to the gate i felt really sick in my stomach,  but then i had to put up a brave face and decided i could manage for 19 days (those happen to be the longest 19days of my life).Well i was entering a place where i didn't know anyone and somehow i had to become friendly with anyone i met. It felt like my first day at boarding school all over again only that in this case you could get drunk, wasted, stoned or do whatever you liked to do to get high and try to forget about what each would bing for you.

I moved towards the gates and i was asked to open my box and they started searching (i had no idea if they thought i had a gun to search me like i was a thief).When they were done there i had to somewhere else to get searched again but then that was when a caught a full glimpse of what was going to be my home for the next few weeks. Was searched again and asked for my call up letter and i got a number and i was asked to go buy a file and a tag.

Then this guy sees me and says put your name and phone number on that piece of paper in front of you. I’m wondering if I had done something wrong already, when you are done writing he says well you can go and verify your posting from there and points to a large crowd of people gather and I’m like ok sir.

Done with the entry clearance and i start to move into the quadrangle then i'm shocked at how muddy the place is and at this point trust that i'm already freaking out.Then still taking in my surrounding i see happy millipedes crawling past me and i'm like what the fuck (damn i can't remember the last time i saw those).I get talking with some women i met at the gate (girls i mean ,only they seemed so damn old to be in camp, well that's Nigeria for you sha) and i'm asking them what we are going to do with our bags and join the crowd ,then i over hear some people say hmmmmm this ones  just dey come dem never see anything yet we wen dey here since morning never verify yet dem dey hear dey speak English. At this point I was already pissed  by my surrounding

Well i finally drop my bags somewhere in the mud and move into the crowd to find out what the matter is. Then i get there to discover it may have been a curse for me to have gone to school in the south east region of Nigeria. Because as it is they are the ones behaving like barbarians, somehow we get to place things in order a little bit .Did i mention that this is the first stage of the clearance. Ohhhh yes it's just the 1st stage. Somehow i manage to get a copy of my posting amidst all the drama. And yes NYSC officials are very dramatic individuals seeking to be important at any little chance they've got. They enjoy making corpers miserable. Yep i said that without blinking my eyes.

Nightfall has come so quickly already and i have no place to lay my head or even a mattress to lay my body on. So i meet this guy he says he has 2 mattresses somewhere and he can't come in cos it's predominately occupied by females. Well we strike a deal which will be me helping to watch the mattresses and bags. So that's how i get a place to retire for the night. Well what that done i try to find food to eat.

With all this I’ve had a really long day and all i pray for is to at least have some rest and get ready for the next day.

I'm going to write a memoir about my second day. You’ll help me decide if NYSC is really worth all this unusual suffering.