HOW YOU CAN PREVENT ANGER FROM DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

I'm feeling some relationship inspiration this evening.So i decided to write something for all my ladies in the house.You all need to read deep and really understand this write.So i'm going to need all of you to stay inspired like me,

Hello  all the pretty female readers of this beautiful blog, are you feeling sadness, disappointment, and frustration... possibly even RAGE? I mean Anger, with a capital A?

We ALL have rage inside us -- from every moment of our lives (and there have been so many for each of us) where we didn't get the love and care we needed. So many of us experienced the deep emotional wound of not having our needs met, and now we look back and use our minds to cover it all up.

We cover it up by telling ourselves we "wanted too much," or that we were unreasonable; but, the truth is -- we were children!

And so we keep repeating the same efforts we made long ago to try to get our needs met, and just like it never has, it doesn't work.

If you're finding yourself wanting to yell and scream at a man -- or at your situation -- and yet hold back until you feel like a pile of knots inside, this is for you.

And if you're finding yourself actually yelling and screaming at a man -- or simply telling him how badly he's behaving and how wrong he is -- this letter is for you, too.

Love can accommodate a lot of things. A few meltdowns, lots of anger, lots of working through.
But love can't withstand a continual onslaught of criticism, disappointment and judgment.
Even a man who loves you will lose that love if he doesn't feel good about himself in your presence.

And the only way YOU can want to be with a man who belittles you, treats you badly, withholds affection and attention and rolls his eyes at you is if you feel the same judgmental way about YOURSELF.

BECOMING NUMB TO YOUR FEELINGS

Being so AFRAID of your own anger and all the disappointment that build up in your unhappy experiences with men, makes you become almost "robotic."

So, truly, whatever situation you're in - your anger is key here. Key to what got you into this situation -- and how to get you out of it.

Here's a great note to work with,it's all about anger, and control, and punishing ourselves and others...

Whenever you feel out of balance and angry, start asking yourself questions... you don't need to know the "why" -- try for the "what" and the "how" you feel, and see if you can work yourself out of the darker feelings into the light without forcing it...
Try to find out what voices in your head are taking control, and why you're giving UP that control over yourself to those Nasty Voices.
Try to notice when you're punishing yourself and a man with your anger.
If you can practice expressing yourself in Feeling Messages, without blaming them or anyone else, including yourself -- everything will change for you.

You explode because that's your habit.

Because you only KNOW the cycle of stuff, then explode.

I want you to learn something new,

1. Catch what you're feeling.

2. Say out loud -- to yourself, to the mirror, to your journal -- what you feel in words.

3. Realize that underneath the feeling you speak are more feelings -- under anger is pain, and fear, and guilt...

4. Know that those feelings will always be there, that they morph, and revolve, and that you cannot always resolve everything that ever caused you trauma and pain, and you cannot always make sense of everything that happens in your life.

5. Know that the important thing is what you DO with those feelings.

6. The most important thing is to not allow them to RUN you but allow them to speak to you.

7. And then, turn your attention, your focus, your energy on the good and pleasant and pleasurable feelings that are inside you, too -- right next to the ugly and terrifying ones!

Right next to guilt is forgiveness. Right next to fear is bliss. Right next to rage is your funny bone.

There's no end to how you can move from feeling bad to feeling good WITHOUT having to RELEASE all the pent-up energy into the world, and onto other people.

You can do it all just by following these baby-steps -- and being vigilant about it.

TAKING CONTROL OVER YOUR FEELINGS

If you catch your feelings early -- and ATTEND to them -- you can tell them that you love them and that they will not run you, that you are choosing to believe the good feeling thoughts that create the good feeling feelings for now.

Some people like affirmations -- or "implants" of positive thoughts that are really just the flip-side of the nasty thoughts your Nasty Voice lives on.

I like "Intentions" and talking to yourself about your "strengths."

I like flipping all thoughts around to the ones that feel the best -- because they're really all in there.

We may believe, on the deepest, most powerful subconscious level, that "there's something wrong with us" -- but that doesn't make it true.

In fact, it's utterly impossible that it's true especially if you have any spiritual faith at all.

So, just by knowing that the thought "There's something wrong with me..." or "My anger hurts people..." its RUNNING you helps you STOP that thought and replace it with "I'm just fine the way I am. I'm totally unique, and the world cannot do without me exactly as I am. I'm perfect. I'm me. I'm supposed to be me, the way I am..." and then you can work through what happens when you actually start saying NICE things to yourself!

Even though you may believe that all the "work" that needs to be done is on your "inside," the truth is that what you do and say on the "outside" is crucial! It can profoundly affect and change what you feel on your inside!

Learning to speak to a man in a way that makes you feel truthful and vulnerable can elevate your self-esteem and create a deep connection with a man almost instantly.

LEARN THE WORDS FOR EXPRESSING YOUR HEART... AND CONNECTING TO HIS

Write a script of what to say to a man -- for nearly any situation you can imagine. AND create your own scripts for any situation , and you'll  it see really works.

Take a specific situation, write the "script" for it, and then "do it"-- and you can see and FEEL how incredibly well it works, right off.

You will be amazed by how a man responds to you -- and how much better you feel -- when you learn how to speak to him in this way. You will feel your anger practically melt away as he comes closer and wants to please you more and more every day.

Here is an example of what a script for dating should look like.

You should learn what to say:

He doesn’t call when he says he will… how to communicate what you need without sounding needy
He cancels at the last minute or is consistently late for dates… how to make him step up to the plate
He gives you his card or tries to get you to call him… what to say so you’re never stuck making the first move
He talks about his ex or is paying attention to another woman - plus the one thing never to do when he brings her up
He wants you to pay or asks you to split the check… how to handle this without scaring the right man away
You’ve gotten over-attached after sex and he’s withdrawing… here’s what’ll make him want you even more than before
He’s not moving the relationship forward, and you’ve been together for a while… how to have “the talk” in a way that will make him think it was all his idea

• Here is an example of what a script for relationships should look like.

  You should learn what to say:

He’s not meeting your emotional needs or he’s mistreating you… It should show you how to handle it
You want more romance and for him to take you out more - here’s how to get it without begging for it
The passion and sex has died in your relationship… you can bring it back with this simple shift in the words you use
You have issues surrounding children - whether yours or his
He has betrayed you with another woman… how to handle the most painful of relationship issues so that YOU regain your power
There’s so much distance and anger in your relationship…      It should show  you how to feel joy and closeness with him again
He’s critical of you, and you feel beaten down… It should show you how to lift your self-esteem instantly. Because in the end you are the only one that truly knows what you partner is capable of and what responses to expect from him.

So starting right now... Know this:

1. If you allow the dark to BE there, the light will just creep up on you.

2. It's when we try to stuff DOWN the dark that it spews out all over everyone and our lives.

3. When you're angry with a man, you're really just yelling at yourself.

4. So, start talking to yourself about your anger, and let me know what you discover.

I hope you learned alot from this write up.i may not be an expert but it does work trust me.